The cube crisis has been resolved. Kinda. I had a meeting with the boss man who made the location decisions. He explained his reasoning which is the exact reasoning I could infer from the seating chart. I wasn't surprised by any of it. He said that he was not given enough offices to house everyone--he only had responsibility to assign nine of the twenty-seven-- and since I am supposed to be part of a workgroup that has mostly not been hired yet, he thought I was the best choice to put in the cube next to all the empty cubes that will one day house other employees. Given the speed at which things move around here, it might be a year or more before anyone is hired.
I told him I had a philosophical gripe and a physical gripe. My philosophical objection is not the cube itself, but being the only one out of twenty-seven employees placed in a cube. First, why did the powers-that-be think this would be alright and not signify status. Second, it definitely signifies status. Third, placing an employee in a cube, surrounded by empty cubes, on the other side of the floor from all the other employees is ostracizing whether it is intended that way or not.
My physical objection is that this cube isn't even nice. It is small so the desk can only be arranged with my back to the hallway. The hallway on which my back would be turned is a major traffic area next to the main door that the employees use to exit the building. I would have people walking past me all day long. It is completely distracting.
I said all these things and I didn't even die. My hands were shaking and my voice may have broken once, but death did not come.
He said there was nothing he could do about the lack of offices. That he had to make decisions based on what he was given. I understand that. He's only been here since August so he has no culpability in the years of crap. He also said that he did not want me to feel like my cube location was an indication of my value as an employee (I'm not stupid, but it's a nice sentiment), and he said he would see if he could get me moved to a better cube. And he did. It is a nice luxury to have a boss that attempts to make things better instead of just tut-tutting at me.
I have officially been moved out of the horrible cube into a bigger cube near everyone else in which I can sit sideways and have a solid wall on the backside. Nobody sneaking up behind me there. So major crisis averted. It is the best I could have hoped for, given the situation.
I still am not endeared to my job. I still want out as quickly as possible. I still am very much aware of my status or lack thereof. I still am waiting for new responsibilities in the new system which may or may not come. But I have not lost the ability to amuse myself on the Internet! I will endure!