The sticks. Oh, the sticks. It's been awhile since I updated you on the sticks. Sigh. The sticks have imploded.
We were doing fairly well with them until Dave's schedule got so busy around March that the ability to enforce the work was very hit or miss. We are basically living the lifestyle of two full-time working parents with the added bonus of having the kids home all day instead of at daycare. The house is woeful and we are too busy and too tired to fix it.
The main reasons I implemented the sticks were to control the socks all over the house and the chaos in their room. The house is in such a state that finding their stray socks is difficult. Since we were not inspecting daily, or even every other day, their room quickly descended into something that a quick pick-up would not fix. Since their room was a mess, I stopped even pulling the sticks.
I didn't exactly announce that I wasn't going to pay them for brushing their teeth and feeding the cat. I just pretty much stopped paying them. They would ask and I would say we would figure something out later. It's not later yet.
They still do certain chores when asked, like the trash, with less fuss than they used to because these particular chores are linked in their minds to the sticks. But the daily habit of completing a list of jobs without asking is pretty much gone now. Sigh.
I intend to revisit the sticks once we get settled again, but with the changeover to homeschooling and my resignation coming soon, the job list probably needs completely reworked anyway. At this point, I don't expect to even try to reboot the stick experiment until October at the earliest. In the meantime, if you come and visit my house, don't be surprised to find dirty socks in the living room, very full trash cans, and a girls room where the carpet is buried under piles of their stuff.
Showing posts with label sticks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sticks. Show all posts
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Another Stick Update
I have been trying to write this post for the better part of two months. Since the last update on the sticks, the situation has evolved.
To refresh your memory, the jobs as we last left them were:
Lunch boxes put away
Shoes and socks where they belong
Trash
Room responsibility
Cat food/water or scoop cat box
Bathroom
Get ready for bed when told without nagging
I have finally (FINALLY!!) gotten Olivia's pictures printed so she can have an easy job list. She hasn't asked me what her jobs are or moaned that she doesn't know what to do once since the pictures were put on her door. The funny thing is that I don't really think she looks at them. Grace has taped something on top of one of the pages. Maybe she looks, but I am inclined to believe her pleading ignorance was a delay tactic.
So how are we doing?
As soon as I assigned the bathroom job, they promptly stopped using their bathroom. This is frustrating. Their not unreasonable thought is that if they don't mess it up, there is nothing to clean. This is true except Sam is the only one consistently using that bathroom now, so it is a mess still. Why must children drip soap all over the place when washing hands? Why must the soap be blue so that we have blue splotches all over the bathroom? That idea pretty much went up in flames. I think we will adjust the job to the more concrete 'hang up your towel and washcloth after bathing' rather than the abstract 'make sure the bathroom is clean.' Perhaps they will start using their bathroom again.
After two months of them keeping their room up, the crud in the corners and in the cracks got to be too much for me. One afternoon I decided to clean out the crevices, but I didn't give myself enough time to do it which turned out to be a disaster. I am astounded by how much stuff Olivia keeps tucked in her bed. I was about 75% done when I ran out of time and the room looked awful. I nearly despaired. It seemed like all our hard work had gone up in smoke. It took a couple of weeks to get it back in order, but we managed eventually. Since I am the one who made the mess or at least brought the mess to the forefront, I didn't penalize them for it, but their room still isn't back to the condition it was before I had to rock the boat.
I am struggling with how strict to be with the room. My inclination is to be a hard-butt about it. For the room to be put back perfectly everyday. My better judgement says this is unreasonable. So where do you draw the line? How do you explain that this particular piece of toy crap on the floor was acceptable yesterday, but that particular pile of toy crap is not? So I tend to let things slide. To err on the side of mercy. I don't feel like I can impose too harshly on their room when the whole rest of the house is a disaster area. It's too hypocritical. So I should probably accept that their room is going to require periodic clean-outs and I should schedule plenty of time to do it, but at least the floor is clear most of the time now.
Also look how many pencils I pulled out of their room. This would be 62 writing utensils and an assortment of sharpeners and erasers. The foot long ruler is for scale.
Another ongoing issue is the evening time crunch. I really don't like having to ride herd all evening to get the jobs done and having these jobs be the last major interaction we have for the night. There is also the problem of finding infractions after they are in bed because it is too disruptive to bedtime to stop and do a thorough inspection beforehand. We are trying two approaches to see if we can mitigate some of this. First, I identified two jobs for them to complete as soon as they get home from school: the cat job and the lunch boxes. These are tasks that, once they are completed, can't be undone later in the evening. I want them to have these done before I get home from work. It is going to take some reminding to get into this rhythm and I might have to send a reminder via chat to Dave for him to remind them. I think we are trying to cram too much stuff into the period right before bed. Moving a little bit to the afternoon should ease things.
The other thing we are going to try is to set the kitchen timer after dinner for 30 minutes for them to complete their remaining jobs.We are usually finished eating and up from the table by around 7pm. If we set the timer then, they should be done by 730 which will give us the better part of an hour to wind down. We had previously attempted to require that their jobs were done by 830 which theoretically is bedtime. This did not go well because they would procrastinate to the last possible minute and then run around like mad chickens and inevitably either a) get angry when we told them time was up or b) freak out on their own when the clock struck 831 even if we hadn't called time yet. We hope by compressing the time in which they have to work, they will be more efficient instead of dragging out the agony, I can do inspections and pull sticks if necessary and then we CAN MOVE ON WITH OUR LIVES! We will have time to do other activities besides chores every single night.
Sam is still lobbying for his own sticks and jobs. I have taken to calling his normal nighttime routine his job, but I am not interested in formalizing anything with him right now. He sometimes will jump in and do a job for one of his sisters so it seems like we should do something for him. Maybe a sticker chart. I think he wants sticks more than anything. For now, it seems like too much (for me) to add him into the mix.
Grace has asked for a raise. She thinks they should get a nickel a job each day which would equal 35 cents a day and $10.50 a month if they did everything every day. She also wants everyone to know she did that math in her head. I think that is veering too far into chore chart territory. I told her she hasn't been required to do more so we weren't going to pay more. She also thinks we should move into an earning stick mode instead of losing stick mode. I explained to her why I thought losing the sticks is better: she gets more money that way and isn't penalized for my laziness. But both of these suggestions indicate that the system is not working as well for Grace. I can see the problem. Grace does her work, mostly on her own, with only a small amount of moaning and whining. I am still having to pull Olivia along. The difference is in their ages, but I can see where Grace feels like it isn't exactly improving for her.
I am also having a moral dilemma about their cash payments: they don't really care. Now that's not really true. They love their sticks. They love keeping up with how many they have lost and what that means for the cash at the end of the month. They love getting paid. The disconnect is that once they have their money in hand, they promptly drop it anywhere and everywhere and don't keep up with it at all. I have a pile of cash sitting on the computer desk that belongs to them, but they haven't missed it. I guess the real problem is they still have no concept of money. I am sorely tempted to reuse the money I already paid out to them, but that would be wrong. Right?
The reason it has taken me so long to write this update is that after the room fell apart, Christmas came and then we were out of town and then we were all sick. There were several weeks in there where almost nothing was getting done, but I wasn't doing any inspections either. They kept their sticks because I wasn't enforcing the work. After the falling apart, we are slowly trying to ease back into the routine. The newness has worn away so we now have to buckle down to the hard work of creating habits while not being excited anymore. For January and probably February too, I don't anticipate the jobs changing.
Stay tuned and see what happens next...
To refresh your memory, the jobs as we last left them were:
Lunch boxes put away
Shoes and socks where they belong
Trash
Room responsibility
Cat food/water or scoop cat box
Bathroom
Get ready for bed when told without nagging
I have finally (FINALLY!!) gotten Olivia's pictures printed so she can have an easy job list. She hasn't asked me what her jobs are or moaned that she doesn't know what to do once since the pictures were put on her door. The funny thing is that I don't really think she looks at them. Grace has taped something on top of one of the pages. Maybe she looks, but I am inclined to believe her pleading ignorance was a delay tactic.
So how are we doing?
As soon as I assigned the bathroom job, they promptly stopped using their bathroom. This is frustrating. Their not unreasonable thought is that if they don't mess it up, there is nothing to clean. This is true except Sam is the only one consistently using that bathroom now, so it is a mess still. Why must children drip soap all over the place when washing hands? Why must the soap be blue so that we have blue splotches all over the bathroom? That idea pretty much went up in flames. I think we will adjust the job to the more concrete 'hang up your towel and washcloth after bathing' rather than the abstract 'make sure the bathroom is clean.' Perhaps they will start using their bathroom again.
After two months of them keeping their room up, the crud in the corners and in the cracks got to be too much for me. One afternoon I decided to clean out the crevices, but I didn't give myself enough time to do it which turned out to be a disaster. I am astounded by how much stuff Olivia keeps tucked in her bed. I was about 75% done when I ran out of time and the room looked awful. I nearly despaired. It seemed like all our hard work had gone up in smoke. It took a couple of weeks to get it back in order, but we managed eventually. Since I am the one who made the mess or at least brought the mess to the forefront, I didn't penalize them for it, but their room still isn't back to the condition it was before I had to rock the boat.
I am struggling with how strict to be with the room. My inclination is to be a hard-butt about it. For the room to be put back perfectly everyday. My better judgement says this is unreasonable. So where do you draw the line? How do you explain that this particular piece of toy crap on the floor was acceptable yesterday, but that particular pile of toy crap is not? So I tend to let things slide. To err on the side of mercy. I don't feel like I can impose too harshly on their room when the whole rest of the house is a disaster area. It's too hypocritical. So I should probably accept that their room is going to require periodic clean-outs and I should schedule plenty of time to do it, but at least the floor is clear most of the time now.
Also look how many pencils I pulled out of their room. This would be 62 writing utensils and an assortment of sharpeners and erasers. The foot long ruler is for scale.
 |
| 62! |
Another ongoing issue is the evening time crunch. I really don't like having to ride herd all evening to get the jobs done and having these jobs be the last major interaction we have for the night. There is also the problem of finding infractions after they are in bed because it is too disruptive to bedtime to stop and do a thorough inspection beforehand. We are trying two approaches to see if we can mitigate some of this. First, I identified two jobs for them to complete as soon as they get home from school: the cat job and the lunch boxes. These are tasks that, once they are completed, can't be undone later in the evening. I want them to have these done before I get home from work. It is going to take some reminding to get into this rhythm and I might have to send a reminder via chat to Dave for him to remind them. I think we are trying to cram too much stuff into the period right before bed. Moving a little bit to the afternoon should ease things.
The other thing we are going to try is to set the kitchen timer after dinner for 30 minutes for them to complete their remaining jobs.We are usually finished eating and up from the table by around 7pm. If we set the timer then, they should be done by 730 which will give us the better part of an hour to wind down. We had previously attempted to require that their jobs were done by 830 which theoretically is bedtime. This did not go well because they would procrastinate to the last possible minute and then run around like mad chickens and inevitably either a) get angry when we told them time was up or b) freak out on their own when the clock struck 831 even if we hadn't called time yet. We hope by compressing the time in which they have to work, they will be more efficient instead of dragging out the agony, I can do inspections and pull sticks if necessary and then we CAN MOVE ON WITH OUR LIVES! We will have time to do other activities besides chores every single night.
Sam is still lobbying for his own sticks and jobs. I have taken to calling his normal nighttime routine his job, but I am not interested in formalizing anything with him right now. He sometimes will jump in and do a job for one of his sisters so it seems like we should do something for him. Maybe a sticker chart. I think he wants sticks more than anything. For now, it seems like too much (for me) to add him into the mix.
Grace has asked for a raise. She thinks they should get a nickel a job each day which would equal 35 cents a day and $10.50 a month if they did everything every day. She also wants everyone to know she did that math in her head. I think that is veering too far into chore chart territory. I told her she hasn't been required to do more so we weren't going to pay more. She also thinks we should move into an earning stick mode instead of losing stick mode. I explained to her why I thought losing the sticks is better: she gets more money that way and isn't penalized for my laziness. But both of these suggestions indicate that the system is not working as well for Grace. I can see the problem. Grace does her work, mostly on her own, with only a small amount of moaning and whining. I am still having to pull Olivia along. The difference is in their ages, but I can see where Grace feels like it isn't exactly improving for her.
I am also having a moral dilemma about their cash payments: they don't really care. Now that's not really true. They love their sticks. They love keeping up with how many they have lost and what that means for the cash at the end of the month. They love getting paid. The disconnect is that once they have their money in hand, they promptly drop it anywhere and everywhere and don't keep up with it at all. I have a pile of cash sitting on the computer desk that belongs to them, but they haven't missed it. I guess the real problem is they still have no concept of money. I am sorely tempted to reuse the money I already paid out to them, but that would be wrong. Right?
The reason it has taken me so long to write this update is that after the room fell apart, Christmas came and then we were out of town and then we were all sick. There were several weeks in there where almost nothing was getting done, but I wasn't doing any inspections either. They kept their sticks because I wasn't enforcing the work. After the falling apart, we are slowly trying to ease back into the routine. The newness has worn away so we now have to buckle down to the hard work of creating habits while not being excited anymore. For January and probably February too, I don't anticipate the jobs changing.
Stay tuned and see what happens next...
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Stick Update
About a month ago, I wrote about our chore experiment using sticks as a payment device so I thought it was time for an update. To recap the girls have to complete a list of jobs every day in order to keep their daily stick. It's an all or nothing deal and each stick is worth 25 cents to be paid at the end of the month.
In October the big change was that the girls' room was finally clean and in shape for it to be reasonable for them to maintain it on their own. I have wanted to get that room in this kind of condition for years. Yes, years. I remember thoroughly cleaning it before I was pregnant with Marian so it really went about two years between total organizings. Too much. So much junk. I'll let you in on a secret. The big rubbermaid that I used to sort out stuff that needed to be put away while I cleaned has still not been sorted. I'll do it sometime, I'm sure, but in the meantime, the children are under strict orders not to touch that box.
So how did they do?
Really well. I am surprised at how well they have kept the room. I thought for sure that items would crawl under the bed and clothes would be dumped in the closet, but it hasn't really happened. I am very pleased. The room is still clean. There are some areas that aren't quite as neat as I would like, but I need to keep my expectations within reason. Earlier this week they began an extended game of doll playing with doll strewn all over the room, each with her own "bed." I told them I would tolerate the dolls as long as they were actively playing the game. As soon as they tire of it, I expect the dolls to all go back to their bin. We shall see what happens.
We do have a couple of general problems with our current version of the system. First I still haven't gotten pictures printed out to help Olivia with visual cues to remember her jobs. This is totally my fault. I've even taken the pictures, but haven't submitted them to a printer. This lack of list means that she asks almost every night, "What are my jobs again?" and I have to answer her. She will probably learn to read before I get this thing printed and then it will be a moot point. Or I could get my act in gear. Maybe.
The second issue is that we still have to remind them to do their jobs every night. This isn't such a big deal, but it would be nice if they would automatically do these things instead of us declaring it time to do their jobs. But for now we remind them to get started and then walk down the list with them every night.
The third issue is related to the second. Since they are waiting for us (read me) to tell them to do their jobs, it usually doesn't happen until after supper and approaching bedtime. How this plays out is that they run around frantically doing jobs until right before bedtime instead winding down which means I am supervising chores instead of doing more leisurely activities like reading to them or something like that. The other problem with this schedule is that my ability to inspect all the jobs and pull sticks if necessary bumps up against bedtime. Several times I have put them to bed and then found socks in the living room. My choice is either to let it go or go back in their room and pull the stick. Neither is very satisfying.
One thing that has surprised me is how much they value those sticks. Losing a stick is horrible to them. Crying, screaming, and begging are the standard response. I wish it wasn't such a tragedy for them, but I am glad they are responding to the incentive.
This month I added two small jobs. The first job is cat related. Each girl has to either feed the cat or scoop the cat box. They alternate weeks so they both have one cat job a week, but not the same cat job every week. They were doing this before, but I thought it would be a good idea to formally include it in the stick jobs. The other new job is making sure their bathroom is in good shape. Basically all this job requires is to hang their towels and washcloths on the appropriate hook after use and make sure there are no globs of toothpaste left in the sink. Nothing that should take more that 30 seconds a day, but I was tired of finding wadded, wet washcloths left in the shower and gross toothpaste in the sink. My thought is that it is better slowly and incrementally increase their responsibilities so over time, they will really be pulling weight but perhaps won't notice as much as if it happened all at once.
For November the jobs are:
Lunch boxes put away
Shoes and socks where they belong
Trash
Room responsibility
Cat food/water or Scoop cat box
Bathroom
Get ready for bed when told without nagging
Overall I am very pleased with how they have done and how certain household issues have basically been eliminated. I do wonder how much I can squeeze out of a quarter a day before they start to balk. Stay tuned.
In October the big change was that the girls' room was finally clean and in shape for it to be reasonable for them to maintain it on their own. I have wanted to get that room in this kind of condition for years. Yes, years. I remember thoroughly cleaning it before I was pregnant with Marian so it really went about two years between total organizings. Too much. So much junk. I'll let you in on a secret. The big rubbermaid that I used to sort out stuff that needed to be put away while I cleaned has still not been sorted. I'll do it sometime, I'm sure, but in the meantime, the children are under strict orders not to touch that box.
 |
| Box full of junk |
So how did they do?
Really well. I am surprised at how well they have kept the room. I thought for sure that items would crawl under the bed and clothes would be dumped in the closet, but it hasn't really happened. I am very pleased. The room is still clean. There are some areas that aren't quite as neat as I would like, but I need to keep my expectations within reason. Earlier this week they began an extended game of doll playing with doll strewn all over the room, each with her own "bed." I told them I would tolerate the dolls as long as they were actively playing the game. As soon as they tire of it, I expect the dolls to all go back to their bin. We shall see what happens.
We do have a couple of general problems with our current version of the system. First I still haven't gotten pictures printed out to help Olivia with visual cues to remember her jobs. This is totally my fault. I've even taken the pictures, but haven't submitted them to a printer. This lack of list means that she asks almost every night, "What are my jobs again?" and I have to answer her. She will probably learn to read before I get this thing printed and then it will be a moot point. Or I could get my act in gear. Maybe.
The second issue is that we still have to remind them to do their jobs every night. This isn't such a big deal, but it would be nice if they would automatically do these things instead of us declaring it time to do their jobs. But for now we remind them to get started and then walk down the list with them every night.
The third issue is related to the second. Since they are waiting for us (read me) to tell them to do their jobs, it usually doesn't happen until after supper and approaching bedtime. How this plays out is that they run around frantically doing jobs until right before bedtime instead winding down which means I am supervising chores instead of doing more leisurely activities like reading to them or something like that. The other problem with this schedule is that my ability to inspect all the jobs and pull sticks if necessary bumps up against bedtime. Several times I have put them to bed and then found socks in the living room. My choice is either to let it go or go back in their room and pull the stick. Neither is very satisfying.
One thing that has surprised me is how much they value those sticks. Losing a stick is horrible to them. Crying, screaming, and begging are the standard response. I wish it wasn't such a tragedy for them, but I am glad they are responding to the incentive.
This month I added two small jobs. The first job is cat related. Each girl has to either feed the cat or scoop the cat box. They alternate weeks so they both have one cat job a week, but not the same cat job every week. They were doing this before, but I thought it would be a good idea to formally include it in the stick jobs. The other new job is making sure their bathroom is in good shape. Basically all this job requires is to hang their towels and washcloths on the appropriate hook after use and make sure there are no globs of toothpaste left in the sink. Nothing that should take more that 30 seconds a day, but I was tired of finding wadded, wet washcloths left in the shower and gross toothpaste in the sink. My thought is that it is better slowly and incrementally increase their responsibilities so over time, they will really be pulling weight but perhaps won't notice as much as if it happened all at once.
For November the jobs are:
Lunch boxes put away
Shoes and socks where they belong
Trash
Room responsibility
Cat food/water or Scoop cat box
Bathroom
Get ready for bed when told without nagging
Overall I am very pleased with how they have done and how certain household issues have basically been eliminated. I do wonder how much I can squeeze out of a quarter a day before they start to balk. Stay tuned.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
The Sticks
Back in the spring, Bearing had a post about an experimental chore system she was implementing with her children. I was very intrigued. I watched her updates and after she showed positive results, I decided it was worth a shot with my own older children.
We first implemented our version of the system in the middle of August as a practice run. I bought some popsicle craft sticks, had each girl choose a color, and colored the tips with the assigned color and wrote their name on each stick. We found a jar to put the sticks in, placed the jars on their dresser and commenced the experiment. I decided that each stick would be worth 25 cents at the end of the month. I wanted to start with a low bar for two reasons. First, we don't have a lot of money to spend on children's chore money and second, I wanted room to be able to give raises later.
For that partial month, the daily jobs required to keep the stick were 1) empty and put up lunchboxes when getting home from school 2) all shoes and socks where they belong and 3) they get ready for bed when told without nagging or delay. This third job entails several sub-jobs which are put on pajamas, put laundry in the dirty clothes basket, brush teeth, go to the bathroom, wash hands, and get clothes out for tomorrow.
That first month went okay. There was much wailing over lost sticks when I found wadded socks all over the house, but they took pretty well to the idea of having jobs and the number of stray socks in the house diminished significantly.
At the beginning of the September, I added trash duty to the mix. I gave Olivia the upstairs trash and Grace the down. Overflowing trash cans has long been a problem here. The ground rules are that if the trash is less than half full, she can leave it, but if it is half or more, it needs to be emptied and a new bag put in place. The bags are, of course, our never ending supply of plastic grocery bags. The one exception to the half full rule is the small trash can under the kitchen sink that needs changed daily since that's where the stuff that rots goes. This particular trash can is the primary reason Grace was assigned the downstairs. Dave and I kept duty over the large kitchen trash can where the girls were to deposit their bags and the baby diaper trash can.
I expected a lot of problems with trash duty because, yuck, trash, but to my amazement, after it was all explained, they all took to trash duty like it was Very Important Work including Sam. He helps! Our overflowing trash can problem of many years enduring disappeared overnight.
The first six weeks of the sticks were fairly successful. The only real complaint I had is that I felt like I was having to do a lot more reminding than I wanted. Honestly, though, it was Olivia needing most of the reminders. "Now what are my jobs again?" She is only six so I have to remind myself not to get frustrated with her because, really, she is only six. Grace generally doesn't need much reminding at all. And if she happens to lose a stick one day, she gets so upset over it. Crying and wailing and "It's not fair!" but I hold her to the standard and encourage her to do better the next day.
From the beginning, I really wanted to give them the responsibility for keeping their room clean, but their room was in such a state that I could not expect them to organize it. The job was too big for two little girls. They needed a clean slate before I could reasonably expect them to keep it up, but that had to wait until I had the opportunity and time to clean it up. Since I was taking the week off of work during the girls' Fall Break from school, I decided the first full week of October would be the perfect time to get the job done. I complain about doing it here.
Finally, hallelujah, the room is clean! The girls are now expected to keep their room clean. Clean means no piles on the dresser, no piles on the nightstand, no piles on the chair, no piles in the closet, no piles on the floor, no piles on the bed, and no trash in the floor. Do you sense a theme? I did not, however, require that they make their beds. Olivia has a double and Grace has the top bunk so each has a difficulty and I decided that wasn't a battle worth fighting right now.
Since they share a room, they immediately wanted to know if they would be responsible for the other person's mess. Oh I had read about that question before. I immediately deferred to the Bearing rule which made perfect sense to me:
So here we are in the third month of this experiment and the areas for which the girls have responsibility have definitely, definitely improved. But now the rubber hits the road. Can the girls keep their room clean? I surely hope so. Stay tuned.
We first implemented our version of the system in the middle of August as a practice run. I bought some popsicle craft sticks, had each girl choose a color, and colored the tips with the assigned color and wrote their name on each stick. We found a jar to put the sticks in, placed the jars on their dresser and commenced the experiment. I decided that each stick would be worth 25 cents at the end of the month. I wanted to start with a low bar for two reasons. First, we don't have a lot of money to spend on children's chore money and second, I wanted room to be able to give raises later.
For that partial month, the daily jobs required to keep the stick were 1) empty and put up lunchboxes when getting home from school 2) all shoes and socks where they belong and 3) they get ready for bed when told without nagging or delay. This third job entails several sub-jobs which are put on pajamas, put laundry in the dirty clothes basket, brush teeth, go to the bathroom, wash hands, and get clothes out for tomorrow.
That first month went okay. There was much wailing over lost sticks when I found wadded socks all over the house, but they took pretty well to the idea of having jobs and the number of stray socks in the house diminished significantly.
At the beginning of the September, I added trash duty to the mix. I gave Olivia the upstairs trash and Grace the down. Overflowing trash cans has long been a problem here. The ground rules are that if the trash is less than half full, she can leave it, but if it is half or more, it needs to be emptied and a new bag put in place. The bags are, of course, our never ending supply of plastic grocery bags. The one exception to the half full rule is the small trash can under the kitchen sink that needs changed daily since that's where the stuff that rots goes. This particular trash can is the primary reason Grace was assigned the downstairs. Dave and I kept duty over the large kitchen trash can where the girls were to deposit their bags and the baby diaper trash can.
I expected a lot of problems with trash duty because, yuck, trash, but to my amazement, after it was all explained, they all took to trash duty like it was Very Important Work including Sam. He helps! Our overflowing trash can problem of many years enduring disappeared overnight.
The first six weeks of the sticks were fairly successful. The only real complaint I had is that I felt like I was having to do a lot more reminding than I wanted. Honestly, though, it was Olivia needing most of the reminders. "Now what are my jobs again?" She is only six so I have to remind myself not to get frustrated with her because, really, she is only six. Grace generally doesn't need much reminding at all. And if she happens to lose a stick one day, she gets so upset over it. Crying and wailing and "It's not fair!" but I hold her to the standard and encourage her to do better the next day.
From the beginning, I really wanted to give them the responsibility for keeping their room clean, but their room was in such a state that I could not expect them to organize it. The job was too big for two little girls. They needed a clean slate before I could reasonably expect them to keep it up, but that had to wait until I had the opportunity and time to clean it up. Since I was taking the week off of work during the girls' Fall Break from school, I decided the first full week of October would be the perfect time to get the job done. I complain about doing it here.
 |
| Look at the wonderful clean floor! |
Finally, hallelujah, the room is clean! The girls are now expected to keep their room clean. Clean means no piles on the dresser, no piles on the nightstand, no piles on the chair, no piles in the closet, no piles on the floor, no piles on the bed, and no trash in the floor. Do you sense a theme? I did not, however, require that they make their beds. Olivia has a double and Grace has the top bunk so each has a difficulty and I decided that wasn't a battle worth fighting right now.
 |
| Only took three months to hang the cheetah poster |
 |
| Look for the lion poster |
Since they share a room, they immediately wanted to know if they would be responsible for the other person's mess. Oh I had read about that question before. I immediately deferred to the Bearing rule which made perfect sense to me:
When I check your room, if I can tell that one person has done his share and the other hasn't then I'll only take that person's token -- for instance, if one bed is made and the other isn't. But if I can't tell, like if there's just a bunch of laundry on the floor, I'll pull both tokens.Neither girl loved this answer. I also clarified that they were ultimately responsible if Sam or Marian came in and made a mess. Yes, we would require Sam or Marian to help pick up as their ability dictated and yes, we would help them clean up a mess not of their making if we could, but at inspection time, it was to be clean or the sticks would be lost. Again they didn't love this answer, but I think they both accepted it and there wasn't too much argument about it, only clarification and discussion.
So here we are in the third month of this experiment and the areas for which the girls have responsibility have definitely, definitely improved. But now the rubber hits the road. Can the girls keep their room clean? I surely hope so. Stay tuned.
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