Jamie at Light and Momentary has declared we should attempt to blog like it's 2005. Of course I didn't have a blog in 2005. I didn't even comment on blogs in 2005. I did read them though.
I remember all the combox debates and tenuously entering them myself and the thrill of hitting refresh to see if there were new replies. Then I remember the traffic and conversations dwindling to a trickle. I wondered where everyone went. Eventually I figured it out. At the end of 2012, I bravely started hitting 'friend' to virtual Internet strangers who I hoped did not think me a weirdo.
Now it's almost all on Facebook. I miss the old comboxes, but it seems like to be seen, you have to be there. And where do you comment? If on the actual post, it seems to lanquish. If on the link, conversation seems to flow. Comment in both places, maybe?
As it is, I contribute to the sad landscape of the blogosphere. I still leave comments, but not as many as I used to and not as many as I intend. This blog began in the waning hours of my working days. I had (way too much) free time to think and develop posts. I could post on a regular basis. Now? Well.
One of the biggest adjustments for me in coming home has been the lack of free space in my head. I feel like I have been robbed of my concentration. I waste a lot of time, for sure, but I waste it doing things I can drop instantly. I have greatly struggled completing tasks that require my concentration. I grab it in drips and drops when the children are gone or asleep, but requirements come before wants. The bills get paid. The lessons get planned. The clutter does not get sorted. The post does not get written.
It's why, in many ways, my house is still a mess. I do not seem capable of applying the 20 minute rule to jobs. It takes me 20 minutes to clear my mind to even begin thinking about it and then a child is calling my name. Progress is slow. I wish I could have a stretch of days where someone would take the children and I could work, but that does not seem to be in the cards.
What's that got to do with blogging?
I need to develop habits around how my life actually is instead of how I wish it would be.
I wish the house was already clean, but it's not. It's better, but there are still many multi-day projects to finish. I'm not going to get multi-days anytime soon so I need to maintain the progress I have and then make strides when I have the opportunity to do more. I need to accept those opportunities are going to be rare.
I wish I had time to write 1000 words posts two or three times a week, but I don't. I need to shift how I conceive of posts. They don't need to be long-winded tomes of philosophy or observations with *very* *deep* *meaning.* I just need to post. When I have the opportunity to spew many words, I'll take it, but for now, quick and dirty is really all I can manage.
Am I making a resolution to blog like it's 2005? Not really. But I am going to make the effort to post more. We shall see. What will I talk about?
I like how you say "coming home." I call it that too, though my homecoming was 13 years ago.
I know what you mean about concentrating -- that mental "flow." I still crave a hit of it and try to get it once a week or so, but have gotten used to not getting it as often as I would like.
I stay up too late most nights in search of that elusive mental flow. I think of the quiet space to finish out a thought and string sentences together in ways that make sense as a sort of drug. I neglect housework and schoolwork sometimes just to finish thinking through an idea. I shoo children away even, sometimes, to let me finish my thought. Finding those little bits of time is rather addictive. It feels selfish. It probably is selfish. And yet when I don't have them for long enough I start to feel mean and surly. I don't know how to balance all the demands and so what usually gives is a good night's sleep. Which then sets me back for the next day and keeps the cycle spinning out of control. And yet we limp along. Nothing is as clean or organized or structured as I'd like and I don't get as much writing time as I'd like even so. I still spend too much of that precious time on Facebook instead of actually writing. I don't know where this comment is going except to say I feel sympathy with the perpetual chaos, both physical and mental.
Interesting. I think it was 2005 when I started blogging! And I'm happy to still have friends I met then. But it was the conflict and the navel-gazing that made me stop. I was unable to do anything else when I was clicking refresh or composing lengthy tomes--I never did master the art of saying things in brief. So yes--I moved to Facebook. And unfortunately, the conflict followed me, and possibly became worse because it's so much easier to be misunderstood and mischaracterized in a brief post than after laying it out in detail. But I remember the mental stimulation, and having an outlet to analyze the things that were going on, and people who were supportive and interested. There was a community, though I was on the outskirts. And I do still love the blog medium, even without an audience. I like having my online *space.* I like having students create online spaces, too, but that, too, is time consuming and not efficient for teaching, I find. Like Melanie, I'm not sure where this is going, except a sort of wistful look back, and to wish you well because blogging is good. :)
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