Random Observations

Some of the same people who urge me to require the older children to do their own laundry so they can "learn some responsibility" would be shocked and appalled by how many times the three, I mean four, I mean five year old has made her own lunch.

Random Observations

I was driving around here, there, and yonder yesterday with the kids when I glanced down at the gas gauge. I had three quarters of a tank. Then it occurred to me that I rarely think about the gas tank anymore.

When I was working and driving seventy-something miles a day, the gas tank was always on my mind. Every day I'd look at the gas gauge, figure out how long it would last, and try to time my fillup for when I had the time in the cheapest location. There could be a 20 or 30 cent differential in price, depending on where I was.

It was a continual source of low level stress that I could not allow to get away from me because I could get stranded. I thought about it every day. And now, I don't.

Random Observations: Work to Home Edition

Some thoughts about how life has changed a bit since I stopped working:

***

When I was working, I always felt like I was battling exhaustion. Always, always sleepy. When it was time for bed, I'd get in bed and go to sleep. Immediately. There was none of this falling asleep business. I was dead to the world within five minutes of my head hitting the pillow.

Now I rarely feel consistently sleepy. I always have the morning groggies, but that's a different animal. What's odd is that I get about the same amount of sleep, but the constant nag of exhaustion is gone. Now when I get in bed, it takes twenty or thirty minutes to go to sleep. I'd forgotten what it is like to fall asleep.

***

When I was working, my hips hurt everyday. Sleeping was painful. Walking was painful. Rising from the seated position was painful. Pregnancy did a number on my joints and pelvis--stupid relaxin--and I never was in a position to really get those support muscles back into shape. Exercise? Are you kidding? I didn't have time for exercise. So I just hurt. Every day.

Now my hips do not bother me near so much. I can sleep without waking up in agony. I am still not in great shape and my hips are not pain free all the time, but the difference is significant. The standing and moving necessary to carry out the home duties have lessened the pain to the point where I can go several days without noticing it. It's fantastic. I do need to implement an exercise regime to further improve it, but I have been given the hope that I am not irretrievably broken.

***

When I was working, I left this house five days a week. I got up, drove to work, drove home, and did it again tomorrow. How was that possible?

Now Sunday creeps up on me by surprise because didn't we just go to church. Oh, a week has passed? I've not left the house since then. I am not sure how I would manage to leave every day with all the responsibilities I have now. I'd like to get out more, but I've yet to unlock that level of competence.

Random Observations

One of the advantages in having a boss of the opposite sex is that you never have to worry about talking to your boss in the restroom.

Random Observations

We are in the middle of July in the South and our air conditioning decided to go on its own summer vacation. It is well north of 80 degrees in the house and hovering around 90 upstairs. We are all hot and sticky and generally uncomfortable. 

Luckily we have an appointment to get it looked at first thing on Monday morning. I suspect we just need to charge the unit with some freon. I hope that's all it is. The fact that the amount it would cost to replace the entire unit is about equal to the gap amount we have been trying to earn so I can quit my job is not lost on me. Please, no. Just no.

This small foray into life without air conditioning got me to thinking. People have lived around here for much longer than air conditioning has existed. It is true that their houses were designed to mitigate the heat and that they didn't live in the sweat boxes that we moderns do. But by and large, people were much warmer in the summertime than they are now.

Here is my question: Historically speaking, was there a discernible drop in the number of babies born in April and May compared to the rest of the year? Because, my goodness, I don't see how there couldn't be. 

Febrile Seizures and a Busy Life

Yesterday, I read and slightly participated in a FB thread discussing the trade-off parents make in assessing risks for their children. A point was made that we, as a society, tend to discount the health risks associated with waking sleeping children and that habitually disturbing a child's nap is actually bad for the child.

Later in the afternoon, an ambulance passed the farmer's market with sirens blaring. Ever since Sam's febrile seizure when he was two years old--have I ever mentioned that Sam once had a seizure?--he almost always asks if any ambulance we pass is "his" ambulance. So I had an opportunity to retell the story of Sam's seizure to one of the vendors at the market.

This morning I thought of these two conversations together and they sparked a thought in my mind.

It is thought that febrile seizures are caused by a sudden change in body temperature, though not necessarily a concerning high body temperature. For example, a temperature that builds gradually to 102 should not trigger a seizure, but a fever that suddenly spikes to 102 might, all while 102 is objectively not a dangerous temperature in either case.

I have read that there has been a marked increase in the number of childhood febrile seizures over the last few years and doctors don't really know what is causing the increase.

Now more than ever, children are being required to conform themselves to the schedules of the adults around them. Babies and toddlers are brought to daycare and activities while their parents work and the ability of parents to take sick days away from work is sometimes limited. I wonder if children are being pushed while on the edge of illness more than they used to be.

Could the difference in the rates of febrile seizures be something as simple as children not being allowed to rest when they start to feel poorly whereas, in days past, the children would just crash on the couch when necessary?

Random Observations

Do you know what is really attractive about homeschooling?

Never feeling obligated or guilty about clipping and collecting Box Tops for Education. Those little bits of cardboard currently torment my existence. Wouldn't it be great to never have to think about them again?

Random Observations

This is not an announcement. I just was reading an FB thread that made me think about it.

The most productive days of my life are probably the ten days between confirming a pregnancy and the onset of a year of incapacitation. All the things that have been nagging at me get done immediately in a frenzy of desperate activity as I wait for the other shoe to drop. It all comes to a sudden stop on that dreadful morning when I finally wake up with a queasy stomach.

Random Observations

I have a theory that the latest in the day a load of laundry should be started is 2pm. If you start it at two, you have a fighting chance to get it through the washer, through the dryer, and put away. If you start it any later than two, there is no way it is going to end well. Supper and the evening requirements will interfere. It will be left in a heap somewhere along the way and I will feel sad and horrible. So if it is after 2pm, I'm not starting a load unless it is an emergency. It's just not worth the bother to me.

Does anything else work on a schedule like this?

Random Observations

Procrastination is the fear of boredom or the fear of running out of something to do.

Why or why not?

Random Observations

The problem with egalitarian marriages is that every unpleasant task you have to do comes with the slight undercurrent of resentment that your spouse left you with the dirty work.

In fairly traditional marriage where roles are relatively defined, there are pleasant and unpleasant tasks that come with your role, but it is just part of the job. If your spouse steps in to help you with some unpleasantness or something you just can't do right now, the action is met with gratitude that your spouse is lifting your load.

When every task, pleasant or unpleasant, is open for a negotiating free-for-all, every task you do is because your spouse did not do it. This means when you do something unpleasant, it is directly because your spouse did not do the unpleasant thing which can feel irksome. When your spouse does do the unpleasant thing, the response is not necessarily gratitude because it was part of the expected job anyway. Everything is your spouse's job so nothing your spouse does seems above and beyond. Everything is also your job so there is nothing you can let go. The temptation for score keeping must be higher when everything is always up for grabs.

Nota bene: This observation was not generated from any particular real life event.

Money Talks

Here is a random observation. This started as a one or two liner and then got longer so I changed the title:

The more income a person has, the less comfortable he is discussing it with general company. When there is disparate income between relatives, the higher income person really, really does not want to discuss money. There is a certain level of income above which nobody wants to discuss it unless they are quite certain that everyone around also makes a similar income. I am ballparking this income amount around 75K when all of sudden the topic falls to the verboten category, but that's not a hard and fast guess. When the topic of money comes up, the people who have it fall strangely silent.

Now why is this? I think there are two things at play. First I have heard that around 75K of income is the level where money stops being an issue. At that income and above, you can afford all the basics and a reasonable amount of luxury on top of it. I wonder if the topic falls away because money just isn't really a concern anymore for those who budget wisely. Nothing to talk about. Second I think there is some level of guilt, especially with family, from having more than others. I'm not saying that people who make more think they don't deserve their income (or that I think they don't deserve their income), but that when you are in a position of having and others, especially family, who come from similar circumstances as you but don't have as much income or actually struggle to make ends meet, there is some feeling of guilt about the situation. Why do I have this money while others don't? I think there is a self-consciousness about the differences in circumstance that makes the higher income person clam up.

I would also imagine this scenario happens when most of the company has lots of money and there's that one guy who doesn't. The conversation is all about their venture capital investments while the poor guy is hoping that nobody notices that he is just smiling and nodding. I would guess that happens too.

Agree? Disagree?

(See, I like to talk money, but I've found that almost no one else does.)

Random Observations

I offer this post in the spirit of Quick-Takes. Just some random observations that float around in my head where I don't really have more than a sentence or two to say about it.

1) Mothers who are employed feel like their motherhood is attacked by the assumptions of society, i.e. if you really cared about your children, you wouldn't be working. Mothers who are not employed feel like their adulthood is attacked by assumptions of society, i.e. if you had something substantial to offer, you would really have a job. No one wins but the Mommy War runs hot.


2) I think the rise in homeschooling is directly-related to the rise in labor saving devices. Here is my theory: We, as a society, decided that children needed more education than their parents could provide while they scratched out a subsistence living off the land so grade schools were invented. With industrialization, men left the home for jobs, but women still had plenty to keep them busy all day long. Labor saving devices for the home were invented and women had less and less to do. As these devices became prevalent in most homes, women got bored and lonely because the chores no longer were a full day's work and the children were gone all day. Rather than remember why we sent the children off to school in the first place and rejoice that we actually have time to educate our children now, we declared, as a society, that women really ought to get jobs too. After several decades of this paradigm with all the fallout the family experiences from it, many are now reassessing and deciding to homeschool instead.

So that's it for today. What do you think? Yes, no, crazy?