tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2940375117370631601.post4099671394804585102..comments2023-08-29T09:03:19.065-05:00Comments on Just Another Jenny: MyopicJennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13472686909226073213noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2940375117370631601.post-35113642938219175692015-02-09T14:39:21.880-06:002015-02-09T14:39:21.880-06:00Haven't read the article, and I hope you'l...Haven't read the article, and I hope you'll take it as a compliment that I'd rather read your synopsis than waste the brain space on the original piece, but this "me me me" vacation mentality was one of the things that really rubbed me the wrong way about A Mother's Rule of Life.<br /><br />I too take the night shifts, for the reasons you give. It doesn't really bother me, and I don't feel like Brendan should have to get up for it, unless I'm actively nursing the baby when another child needs something (not all that common these days). I do feel like it's "my job", and I'm content enough to do it, as I have for the past 13 years. I don't think that mothers taking the night shift is a hill to die on, since I know some people I respect who follow different practices (except I do think that both parents getting up together with the baby is a sleep suicide pact), but I don't see myself ever doing it differently.MrsDarwinhttp://darwincatholic.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2940375117370631601.post-4696514996839962182015-02-09T09:00:28.271-06:002015-02-09T09:00:28.271-06:00Katherine,
I think you described exactly what was...Katherine,<br /><br />I think you described exactly what was bothering me about the article. She was using "job language" to describe her vocation. You can't just clock in and out of motherhood. Or if you can, you need a more coherent explanation about why parents with jobs don't get the same latitude. There's just a disconnect. If motherhood is a job that requires a vacation, why does an employed parent's vacation require continuing to do her job? This isn't coming out quite right, but it seems that her reasoning implies that a full-time parent requires a resort vacation to qualify as a vacation, but an employed parent only gets to take on the duties of a full-time parent to qualify as a vacation. (But I thought full-time parenting required a vacation?) There's a giant hole in logic here.Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13472686909226073213noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2940375117370631601.post-35436028024206244352015-02-08T18:46:51.520-06:002015-02-08T18:46:51.520-06:00I’m a SAHM and I have 6 kids and my oldest just tu...I’m a SAHM and I have 6 kids and my oldest just turned 9, so while I’m not in her boat with twins nor yours working outside the home, I think I’d share some similarities on parenting. Personally, I need a break and I know I need a break, but a 4 day trip would be really difficult for me and probably pretty unpleasant. I need small breaks throughout the day and maybe once a week but one big break will not help me 6 months after the fact and, at the end of the first day, I would miss my kids. So while I relate to the needing of a break, I can’t relate to her preference for such a particular break at all. <br /><br />I think what bothers me about her article is twofold. One is the way her language presents her vocation as though it were a job. They are hardly the same thing and you cannot speak about one as though it were the other. Yes, mothers - all mothers, both SAHM and working moms - are generally underappreciated. But I think it is only undermining the vocation to think of it as a job. There is no “punching in your time card” as a mother. <br /><br />The second thing was the defensively agressive tone. My reaction to her demand for a vacation was, “Ok, so what?” We all need a break, but why the meticulous argument that it has to be a 5 day trip away from home? OK, so 8/10 parents wouldn’t do it.. that doesn’t mean they would spit on her for doing it. She is writing to the 30% of people from Parents Magazine (I know that is where I go to decide how to parent! /sarc) who think it is morally reprehensible? Maybe I’m just out of the loop on parenting trends but if that is the issue, then she needs to worry less about what other people think. Katherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01113818823824140462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2940375117370631601.post-42992575413120867152015-02-07T21:36:54.721-06:002015-02-07T21:36:54.721-06:00What bugged me about the article is that it has a ...What bugged me about the article is that it has a good underlying message. Everyone needs find ways to avoid burnout, to have time to rejuvenate, to be cared for when necessary. That she goes on vacation to accomplish this goal for herself doesn't bother me, even though leaving my babies for days doesn't sound relaxing to me. But her tone was galling. Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13472686909226073213noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2940375117370631601.post-73465998246977906962015-02-07T20:51:26.351-06:002015-02-07T20:51:26.351-06:00Privileged is the word that comes to mind. I usual...Privileged is the word that comes to mind. I usually hate that word, but yeesh. Some of us would love to have that kind of thing as an option. But for most of us four days away from everything is an impossible luxury. <br /><br />Actually, though, I'm not sure I'd take it if you handed it to me, at least not while I have a baby or toddlers. Being away from my kids all night is hard. <br /><br />In our 9 years of marriage I've taken two trips to go to friends' wedding out of state and both times I took the nursing baby with me. And it was very nice to see my friends, but it was also stressful to have sole responsibility for a baby 24/7 in a strange place when we were totally off the baby's schedule. And the second time, with Anthony, I missed the other kids very much. Now for a wedding, those are trade-offs I'm willing to make. But I'm not sure I could feel comfortable just taking a vacation because I deserve it. <br /><br />I did sort of think that the rest I got after Lucy was born was a little like a mini-vacation because my mom was here to take care of things and because physically I needed to recover, I spent a couple of weeks moving from bed to couch and back again. It was actually kind of nice and the closest thing I've had to a break in years. I watched a bunch of shows streaming online and read books and didn't worry about housework. <br />Melanie Bettinellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12557248434888642114noreply@blogger.com